[Redux] Stupid Body Tricks – The Hypnagogia Edition

This a post from one of my previous blogs that I still really like and is one of my favorite topics to talk and/or hear about, so why not post an updated version of it here?

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This is another weird-but-maybe-happens-to-everyone kind of thing that I didn’t have a word to define for ages: hypnagogia/hypnopompia. Actually, I had tons of words to define it: hallucinations, dream bleed-over, what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me-now…. you get the idea. I didn’t know there was a clinical word to define it.

Now hypnagogia/hypnopompia, according to Wikipedia are basically the states a person experiences as they drift to sleep and as they wake up. And weird shit can happen while in this state.

“Transition to and from sleep may be attended by a wide variety of sensory experiences. These can occur in any modality, individually or combined, and range from the vague and barely perceptible to vivid hallucinations.” 

The Wikipedia article (which is actually a pretty comprehensive read) goes on to list some of the recorded types of hallucinations that people can experience – sights, sounds, sleep paralysis, etc, some of the physiological goings-on and other loads of interesting stuff. But I’m just here to talk about my own personal experiences of course.

I think I’ve hit most of the common hypnagogic hallucinations over the course of my life. I remember when I was younger they were more tactile; the sensation of being touched in my sleep, a hand stroking my hair or touching my shoulder. I remember once a feeling that was like bubbles popping against my head, tickling my scalp. The feelings would almost always shock me back awake, looking around for whatever touched me. Even now I’ll feel my mattress shuddering and dipping like someone else was sitting on my bed beside me while I’m lying there. For a person living alone, that’s not a fun hallucination to have. Maybe it would stop if I got a mattress that was strictly foam and not a hybrid? Because it always feels distinctly like the coils are shifting around, even through 3 layers of foam.

But the most common ones I have are visual: ranging from insects (I once yelled so loud that I woke up my mom and then cue me spending the next 20 minutes looking around for a giant red and black spider that wasn’t there) to floating, shifting abstract shapes that almost looked like drops of ink swirling and dissolving in water. Sometimes I’d even see people, like flashes of figures out of the corner of my eyes. Or in one memorable case staring at the shopping cart mounted on my wall because, even though I knew it was a cart it looked like a body hanging from my ceiling. And always, my reaction is the same: heart hammering, I grope for my glasses, snap on the lights and look around to find…nothing at all. Then, once my heart rate settles down again, I’d slide back into sleep – or get up to face the day. Though Wikipedia says that the different states (falling asleep vs waking up) cause different events, I’ve haven’t noticed any big differences in them. I tend to get more tactile ones going to sleep and more visual ones waking from sleep, but, to be honest, I’ve never paid close enough attention to them to notice any more subtle patterns.

Before I found the clinical term, I used to feel like the hallucinations I had were like leftovers from dreams, part of that cold sea still clinging to me. Considering I could see the damn things clearly without the use of my glasses, I felt like I’d flipped my vision process – instead of my brain interpreting external signals it was like my eyes were projecting out internal ones. Instead of seeing what was in front of me, I was instead seeing what was inside of me. So I had a basic rule – if I had my glasses on and saw it, likely it was real. If I saw it clearly and didn’t have my glasses on, it was likely not real. An unexpected bonus of being very myopic.

I don’t really try to dig for any meaning in what I experience in these states. Why do I sometimes see fantastic (and terrifying) insects? Why do I feel the mattress moving when my body isn’t? I mean, okay, the hanging body one I’m 90% sure was from watching horror movies. Movies like Ringu and The Grudge permanently burned an innate fear of creepy women with long black hair covering their face into my brain and they’ve been a staple feature in my dreams ever since. But the other stuff? Is there a meaning? The Wikipedia articles briefly mention some of the studies that have been done around pre and post-sleep states, but I imagine it would be ridiculously complex to try and figure out a reasoning behind the kinds of images and sensations people experience. But it’d be interesting to find out if there were some kinds of patterns in there.